Cologne is one of those third tier cities which one easily forgets to include in weekend getaway holidays. At least many non-Germans forget and why? It beats me! It’s a perfect place to spend a few days without bumping into hoards of tourists. You can be invisible, discreet or totally absurd depending on your pleasure.
Tucked in the Ruhr Valley, Germany’s industrial and commercial heartland and situated idyllically on the Rhine river, the big one that stretches from it’s base in Rotterdam, The Netherlands all the way south to Switzerland. Cologne boasts more Roman churches than anywhere else in Germany. There are twelve to be exact. You don’t need the addresses to find a Roman church. Just find a map, walk the city and bump into one. They’re hard to avoid. If you’re tired take a tram or a subway (U-Bahn). The network is extensive. One of the main attractions in the city center is the Dome Cathedral which happily was spared bombing during WWII.
Altstadt – Old City
The narrow winding streets of the old city are cobble stoned, just what one would expect of an old city center. Unlike most other German cities, which were destroyed during WWII, Cologne retains its Old World charm. In the heart of the old city one finds plenty of outdoor pubs and beer gardens as well as a food market and wait-a-minute, street life. Cologne is lively, boasting more art galleries and furniture makers than elsewhere in Germany and features a New Media Center to die for, architecturally speaking. Each year the city hosts the largest modern furniture design trade fair as well as very impressive antiques fair. Not that I indulged on this particular trip which took place on Easter weekend.
What appeals to me is the proximity to the river and the enormous amount of greenery along the residential mews. There are 3 main bridges which cross the Rhine. The Hohenzoller, The Deutzer and the Severins. One can make various boat excursions, short or long, in hour long clips or those lasting half a day up and down the Rhine. You can call to make reservations for any number of boat tours to +49-0221-12 16 00 or +49-0221-257 4225.
There is a charming little cable car that winds over the Rhine valley with views towards the Dome Cathedral as well as the highway which is far less charming unless you are an auto buff dead set on counting Mercedes and BMW license plates, called the Rheinseilbahn Cologne am Rhein. Located on the Riehler Strasse 180, the price is DM 10,00 for a roundtrip of approximately 20 minutes.
Around the Benesisstrasse area are quaint corners. Practically every tram stops there. It’s dotted with high street shops, designer boutiques and labels, chock-a-block with restaurants, pasta cafes and auberges. I wanted to eat Alsatian which is a blend of German and French (the Alsace region of eastern France which borders Germany) because it existed Having lived in Basle, Switzerland for five years I used to eat Alsatian cuisine regularly. Basle is located right on the French and German borders. So bewilder me when I noticed there was more than one Alsatian restaurant in the city.
Who Said German Cuisine Was Bad?
Lo and behold I wound up at Wackes, a bubbly little place on the Benesisstrasse 59. Tel: +49-0221-257 3456. Ask for Romain, the proprietor and general racanteur. Mr. Romain Wack. He’ll wack you with the best Rieslings I guarantee you. It won’t be hard to miss him since the place seats around 40; he’s the chef and main entertainment. What a generous guy! Romain invited us to sit around his table of friends until the wee hours of the morning. We laughed and cajoled with a Cologne couple, their about to be wed daughter and her Italian fiance and Romain’s pr girlfriend who was keen on Manhattan and speaking English.
We were served flammekuchen (Alsatian pizza variety of very thin crust, onions, bacon and white cheese, yum!), a flammekuchen version with apples and cognac, bottles of Riesling wine and champagne. I would have sung karaoke if only Romain had let me. Maybe on our second visit? The wisdom on the walls of Wackes reads like this: Wein und Wurst stilt den Hunger und den Durst. What does it mean? Wine and sausages ease your hunger and thirst. Sounds better in German because it rhymes.
For brunch we went to a microbrewery called Weissbraeu zu Koeln (white beer of Cologne) at Am Weidenbach 24. It’s a Bavarian beer hall, which touts the best Sunday brunch all for a piddly diddly DM 33 per head. The southern German beer specialties, all freshly brewed include white and black beer. Brunch consisted of everything from cold cuts and cheeses, salads to turkey in paprika sauce, pork cutlets, potato salad, fifty varieties of breads… and free refills of coffee or tea. Germans are known for their unbelievable assortment of breads and beers as the French are for their wines and cheeses.
Don’t miss the Stadtgarten at Hans Boeckler Platz. During the day it functions as a grand cafe, at night downstairs it turns into a house dance club called Studio 672. There are live jazz and house concerts to boot. Here again one finds on the day menu flammekuchen plus other original hors d’oeuvres. The menu changes daily.
We also visited Peters Brauhaus a regional institution located at Heumarkt where we drank Cologne’s local beer Koelsch. A huge tapestry hangs on the walls of this beer house reminding one of the painter Breughel. However that’s where similarity with Flemish art or culture ended.
Something Different
If it’s raining go to the Claudius Therme on Sachsenbergstrasse 1. Tel: +49-0221-981 440. A beautiful natural hot spring thermal bath in the center of the city under the cable car. I took a Turkish bath, sauna and swam outdoors in the whoosh of a jetty, which pushes one along. You don’t need to swim or flap your arms like a floundering fish. You gently float in a circle of salty bubbles. These German thermal baths are modern, clean and decorated in soothing colors – aqua, blue greens, whites and navy. Thermal waters are very excellent for ailing limbs and arthritis, rheumatism and back aches. Supposed to be good for the skin as well.
Koerperwelten Exhibit (The World of the Body)
At the Heumarkt Exhibit Hall the exhibit which shocked and attracted over 3 million visitors in Germany, Switzerland and Japan runs until the 31st of July 2000. It’s billed as ‘Anatomy art, the fascination beneath the surface’. It’s a Clockwork Orange version of the body’s internal tissue, bone structure, arteries, organs and intricate structure presented by pathologists gone “artsy”. Imagine seeing real humans, dead of course, and donated by the way for the sake of science whose skin has been lifted then plasticized to expose the human form?
You can see weird slices of longitudinally expanded body forms, slices of human carpaccio including bone, marrow, meat and flesh. You can see and hold in your own vomit over a dead pregnant woman whose stomach is sliced open for the “sake-of-science” exposing a five-month-old fetus-person. Full (right and left brains) or partial brains, hearts, lungs and livers. All neatly and antiseptically displayed in glass counters. Thank God they were all brain dead. What a gory thought to have been alive.
The art of plastification is admirable in and of itself and certainly this exhibit is one of a kind. I question in the name of science or art, what this brings to the public mind? I have to say I’m dumbfounded. I imagined before stepping inside I’d be sick to my stomach, cringing with creepy crawlies. In fact I was able to stand it except for the ferris wheel of fetuses aged 3 weeks up to seven months. I shed a few tears I admit. Don’t get me wrong I am not a pro-lifer or some radical fanatic that is anti-abortion. It’s just that it’s rather sobering to see bare bones stripped down humans in such a clinical way. The model which gave me chills right to MY BONES was one of a man who was carrying his own skin over his shoulder like a rucksack. Yucko! Major blech. Bizarre to say the least. If I happened to have been in a philosophical frame of mind I could see the irony in that the skin withers away when one passes to the next world. I could see how frail we are, how dependent on our skin we are for protection and sensory charges. I could have seen way more however I chose not to. Check out the website
Afternoon Delight
Driving a bit out of the city center southwards to the suburbs, I found myself on the riverbank near a horse farm and boat depot. I hopped on what looked like a houseboat. Indeededoo, it was a houseboat. The trip was a mere 7 minutes across the river however I ate a delicious montort (poppy seed bun), had a cuppa java and spoke with the boat owners girlfriend who lived there.
Further a field heading in the direction of Bonn, local farmhouses were spotted. I climbed out of the car to buy fresh white asparagus direct from the farmer. Tis the season! Prior to driving home, I made a stop at Huetter’s Restaurant, Rheinbergstrasse 49, 51143 Cologne in the direction of Porz-Langel and Zuendorf, Langel off the A 59. Tel: (49) 0 2203 818 83. Fax: (49) 0 2203 873 27. Opened from 12:00 - 14:30 for lunch and 18:00 - 21:30 for dinner. Thursdays closed. This is a gastronomic delight not to be missed. You can purchase home-made vinegars, schnapps and mustards.
Word of advice.Do not stay at the Cerano Hotel. The owner, a mean cheapskate tried to rip me off by making me pay a higher rate than that which was quoted on a poster outside the hotel entrance stating in black and white for the weekend price of 120 DM. He insisted I pay over 160 DM. The hotel is on the Elisenstrasse 16. Just goes to show what happens when you stay on a street with your own name.
The Rhine is fine and Cologne falls gently to the north of After-Shave.
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