The Pub Crawl
The first thing you need to know about pub-crawling is that “you leap in and limp out“. Don’t expect to hop, skip or jump about after downing endless pints of Guinness or lager but do try to dance in the many spacious pubs. It could be a riotous scene and given the Irish penchant for unabashed friendliness and humor, the more fool you act the more lavish wit will you be worthy of receiving. Literally everyone is open to speaking with you. Old crinkled skinned men, middle-aged moms in their finest knitwear, country folk from up north to the under 25 youth which populate the city, are more than eager to welcome you to their fine land. Ireland must have more pubs per square mile than anywhere on earth so it won’t be far until you bump or stumble into a pub, depending on how much you’ve consumed.
Literally Crawling
Dublin’s literati offer an unusual pub-crawl where the guides are said to be drinkers with a writing problem so check out the Literary Pub Crawl, which starts upstairs at The Duke pub on Duke Street at 7:00pm. Visit www.dublinpubcrawl.com. In Dublin Magazine says quote, “A highly enjoyable evening that gives you the pleasant notion of simultaneously replacing brain cells as you drown them.” Tel: +00358-1-670 5602.
The Mercantile Bar & Grill, 28 Dame Street, Tel: +00358-1-679 0522 is a large 3 storied rowdy joint decorated in pub style with Chesterfield chairs, sofas and bar stools. There’s a dance floor although that’s not necessary because everyone dances whenever they have the urge to groove in any nook and cranny add to the atmosphere. They have a great selection of music from rave to Motown and a large selection of ales and lagers. The best thing about it is the crowd, an eclectic blend of senior citizens either dressed to the nines or in overalls to hussy little twenty-somethings and everyone in between, gay, straight you name it. The people are so FRIENDLY, on an American-first-name-basis chummy and warm. It feels like Dorothy growing up in Kansas. Guys and gals just walked right up introduced themselves and chatted. Forget about Northern European suspicion and anal retentiveness, never mind the Latin way of a half glazed glance and a coy smile to attract your attention. Think Irish!
Bewley’s Oriental Café, 78 Grafton Street, Tel: (353) 677 6761 is a Dublin institution. This veritable café serves a grand cuppa café au lait, cherry buns and large breakfasts. The interior is lush Oriental a la 1920’s - one can see smoke curling from the mouths of Chinese red lipped women in flapper styled gowns and skullcaps - tutti-frutti wallpaper and Chinese lacquered screens. You can purchase gourmet foodstuffs at the front counter to take back home. Try the Bewley’s coffee and Irish soda bread.
Sites for Sore Eyes
Don’t miss The Dublin Writer’s Museum, 18/19 Parnell Square, North, Dublin 1. Tel: +353-1-872 2077, Fax: +353-1-872 2231. Famous the world over Irish literature is nothing short of remarkable. Four noble prizes have been given to Irish writers. This gorgeous 18th century Georgian mansion offers a one-man show not to be missed. An actor invigorates the public with musings and quotes from it’s most beloved writers in a bellyful of laughs lasting one and a half hours, featuring notables such as Yeats, Beckett, Brendan Behan, Swift, Sean O’Casey, Shaw, Oscar Wilde, Stoker and not to forget James Joyce. You can also visit the James Joyce Museum at the Joyce Tower, Sandycove, Tel: +353-1-872-2077, Fax: +353-1-280-9265 outside of Dublin center if you’re a real fan. Take the DART subway to Sandycove or Bus. No. 8 from Burgh Quay.
Dublin’s literati are savage satirists, revolutionaries politically and rascal-like in their defiance of authority. That could be said of the people at large. The Irish display a mixture of humor and despair that looms large in their consciousness and with damned good reason. The British enslaved the Irish during its heyday as world-empire and even till this day, of the 26 counties in Ireland, 4 are under British rule. Independence is an Irishman’s clarion call and whether you read it or hear it in song, the message is one of turmoil, hope and romanticism. Where other nationalities have succumbed to the lethargy of the downtrodden and passivity under rule, the Irish bristle with unending creativity, mysticism and hope.
Trinity College, the oldest university in Ireland founded in 1592 by Queen Elizabeth I was also the first Protestant college in Dublin which did not encourage Catholic professorships. remains home to the Book of Kells, a 9th century illuminated manuscript, the books of Durrow and Armagh and an early Irish harp. Temple Bar is the city’s cultural district running close to the river Liffey, and it can get kinda iffy if you’re on the wrong side of the river. This is home to the hippest restaurants, bars, live music venues, night clubs and boutiques. Great fashion at great prices in Dublin. Forget London unless you have a whole to burn in your pockets. There are some excellent cultural centers near Essex Street East including The Irish Film Centre, The Photography Centre and Gallery of Photography. Call +353-1-671-5717 for events and festival information. I always thought the great St. Patrick’s Cathedral in Manhattan on Fifth Avenue was an original. In fact it only pays homage to the real McCoy in Dublin. If weather permits there’s a lovely garden in back of the church to lounge, read a book, eat lunch or watch children playing by a pond.
The Big Attractions
As this was a four day trip I wanted my money’s worth and packed in the activities. The first two days I took one day tours, one south, one north of Dublin. The southern adventure aptly named Wild Wicklow Tours traveled around 60km south of Dublin. Wild it was in a most irreverent way. John, our guide and intimate conniver, connoisseur of things, places and all stories Irish, a brash and amusing entertainer led the way for this full-day VERY WORTHWHILE tour. I’m not fond of group tours however John’s wit and familiarity brought the loony lot of us - English, Viking Norwegians, American, Dutch and German together as if we had been long lost cousins. It is worth every minute and I sing their praises. Contact them at www.arantours.ie/wildwicklow.
Day One - It was supposed to be an eight-hour day however we wound up, fifteen hours wiser in Dublin and ready to party until the wee hours. Leaving the city center we passed the distinguished embassy row of homes whereupon at a red light John aptly pointed out, “To the left is the Spanish embassy. The ambassador’s name is E-Manual Labor.”
Our first stop was Dun Laoghaire harbour on route to Killiney Bay overlooking the sea with ooh-aah breathtaking views of what is known as Naples of the North. We were informed of its nickname Sub-Bay meaning where girls go down on boys every Saturday night. Perched behind vast forests nestled in private woods are the homes of Bono of U2, Enya and countless other unforgettable Irish entertainers. Avoca where hand loomed weavers make fine aran wool pullovers, jackets and sweaters. Passed through Holt township where knobs, snobs and yobs commingle. Then up into the mountains passing thousands of lunch baskets on four legs - the lambs, into the valley of Glendalough where we hugged a Viking or Celtic (?) cross atop a gravestone with our partners, said to bring happiness forever if the couples arms touch one another in this stony embrace. The 6th century monastery and 1,000 year old round Viking built tower are highlights in the valley. Surrounded by two beautiful lakes we strolled the forest to the lakes edge with a British couple. Upon arrival John met us with what else? Whisky. To celebrate our loooooong tiring walk. We guzzled down shots, three apiece and were famished albeit whoozy. Where is Glendalough? someone asked. In County Wicklow, John stealthily replied. Where is Glen Fiddich? asked I. In the bottle you’re drinking you culchie said John. What? Country bumpkin came his retort.
Onto bogland 7,500 feet up where we weren’t about to get bogged down so we settled into the cozy pub in Laragh and had a traditional Irish stew made with our four legged lunch boxes. Here we ran across the curious game of kiss the coaster. Suck a coaster on your lips without letting it fall and pass it to the next person. If it falls you have to kiss them. If not you let out a sigh of relief, depending on their looks and gender. I purchased a hand-knit aran wool sweater with two little lambs one on each pocket made with the furry white lambswool. As I was leaving the shop, Harvest Loom Celtic Crafts, Laragh, Glendalough, Tel: 0404-45721, Fax: 01-286-3461, I bleated to the owner, baaah baaah. Last stop was the castle which served amongst other horrors the location for Braveheart & Ballykissangel at Sally Gap.
Day Two - Boyne Valley Tours with the hysterically funny authentic Oliver, sixty plus years of age and going strong. He welcomed us - a slightly larger group than on day one by exclaiming, “If I start singing we’ll all have to jump through the emergency exit.” OK.
Oliver once he got started, after circling the city twice to pick up some lost tourist who missed the bus, took us first to an ancient burial site, older than the Pyramids. Situated on one of the planet’s energy ley lines, Newgrange is a massive Neolithic Ritual Center and passage grave encrusted with Druid-like spirals in the stones located at the mouth and sides of this huge cylindrical white granite monolith. This world heritage site is over 6,000 years old and contains an astronomical light box and solar calendar deep in the chamber of the grave. The guide showed us what happens at the winter solstice, every December 21st. As the lights dimmed, a thin sparkling stream of sunlight (provided by modern science in the form of a flashlight) shone into the chamber in a straight line yet simultaneously making a 360 degree turn as it lit each ceremonial grave from North to West clockwise. We understood this also as a symbolic technique celebrating the cycle of life, death and rebirth at the dawning of a new year. The spiral designs are found in most Celtic art and jewelry and can be found in other ancient tribes, religious sects and traditions such as the Native American and Sufi.
Once the high seat of the Kings of Ireland, it is where St. Patrick lived in AD443. The hill is marked by ancient earth works, mounds and moats. From a distance above you can see huge spiral shapes indented in the earth as if a monster carved the landscape. As in Peru where the mysterious landscape has been carved into animal shapes here we have an inexplicable wonder. The oblong stone in the shape of a phallus stands erect on a mound as hundreds of sheep daydream on this hilltop. Further afield we visited Trim Castle or King John’s Castle and took in the bewildering view of emerald green Irish countryside. We made a stop at Ledwidge’s Cottage, the uh-hum famous Meath poet of namesake. Never heard of the guy and I’m a poet, I just didn’t know it. The saving grace of this cottage was the barnyard where pigs were sitting comfy in the doghouse. More driving and chuckles later we arrived at Bective Abbey, a 10th century Cistercian monastery where I glimpsed the largest oak tree I ever saw in my life. Must have been at least twenty five feet in diameter. Somewhere on this journey we passed the Blarney Stone yet didn’t stop to kiss it. Oliver said it wasn’t worth it since we all had the gift of gab anyway so who needed to hear more of the same!
According to the myth anyone who kissed the stone turned into a great orator. We were quite happy with Oliver. A fascinating stop was at the Hill of Slane, where St. Patrick brought Christianity to Ireland. Well, not quite relinquishing the Druid, Celtic and pre-Christian beliefs, myths etc. which is why there are some saints in Ireland not recognized by the Pope. Here we saw St. Paddy’s grave. After a fabulous meal at The Station House Hotel & Restaurant, www.thestationhousehotel.com in Kilmessan, County Meath. At desert, Gunnar a Swedish sightseer on tour offered Oliver a candy prompting him, “Ever had one of these, it’s poison?” Whereupon Oliver kindly took one and proffered, “I’ll save it for when I next wed to die in my sleep.”
Big Eats
One of the best restaurants in Dublin is Le Coq Hardi. 35 Pembroke Road, Dublin, Tel: 668-9070 or 668-4130. Fax: 668-9887. The day we ate lunch there it was filled with Dublin’s industrial elite, suits. Housed in an eighteenth century townhouse decorated in canary yellow, gilded gold curtains and striped wallpaper the proprietress and waiter worked quietly yet not without some off-the-cuff brash humor. Hands-down to Michael Birch who we give a gold medal to as waiter of the year. We had Irish scallops with a side of delectable steamed cabbage and thin strips of grilled onion and bacon.
Witty Witticisms heard along the way:
- A man likes to be a woman’s first love and a woman likes to be a mans last romance.
- In Ireland fine weather puts the women in good humor, which puts the men in good humor, which makes everybody happy.
- A woman is waiting for a bus. She asks the people in a queue, “When’s the 9:30 bus coming?” Moral. Time is non-existent in Ireland; it runs by its own clock.
- For those of you driving home make sure you have a car.
- God help the Irish: if it was raining soup they’d be there collecting it with a fork.
- A road sign pronounces: Don’t meet anyone by accident!
Gaelic and Irish:
Craic (pronounced crake) - news, jokes, fun. Does anyone have any craic?
Snailbox - a pub; you go in slowly and come out twice as slow
Slan (pronounced slon) - goodbye
Abile (pronounced abalya) - safe home journey
Twink
No no it’s not an abbreviation for the children’s tune …twinkle twinkle little star, it’s Twink, one of Ireland’s biggest stage performers and she’s not a drag queen. Twink is an all around entertainer having begun her career as a traditional Irish dancer; way before Michael Flatfeet of Lord of the Flying feet ever twitched a toenail. Twink sings, dances, tells awful jokes, dresses up or down and tries to do live sitcom. What Twink did the night we saw her at The Olympia Theatre in Dublin, was host the show 100% Pure Irish Dance. Imagine this, you haven’t booked any theatrical performance in advance of your trip when suddenly you pass a theatre awning and think to yourself wow, tickets are still available to see what the world goes crazy about, Irish Dance. Great. You buy into the hoopla; your adrenalin starts pumping as you hear the lovely whistle music weaving nomadic hymns coupled with rock n’roll beats in your inner ear. You get in your seat and look about the audience when you realize there are hundreds of screaming toddlers and mums ssshing them, passing them drippy ice cream or popcorn.
Huh? You scratch your head. It dawns on you. This is a talent show for the local Dublin and surrounding county dance schools featuring the greatest Irish dancers. 100% pure. Aged 3 - 14. I shed a tear or two for these lovely cultivated youngsters. Irish Dance is to Ireland what Tap Dance is to America. A celebration of life, a thank-you to the Gods for being alive. Twink quoted an American Indian; “when I work the Gods admire me, when I laugh the Gods love me”. And laugh we did throughout. Don’t miss any form of Irish dance, whether mini or macro, whatever the age of the performers.
The Hotel
Part of the select group of Manor House Hotels, Butler’s Townhouse is an oasis of country tranquility and superior service where you feel like a Queen or King. The rooms are Victorian, well appointed and extremely comfortable yet run on the smallish side. Located in the embassy district of Dublin, the streets are quiet and one needs to take the tube to the center of town unless it is a bright sunny day and you have 15 minutes to kill by window-shopping. Mr. Chris Vos, proprietor of the house is personable and attentive. He organized a few tours for me and recommended some excellent restaurants in the neighborhood. There is a limited room service menu however the Irish breakfasts are first class with everything from smoked salmon scrambled eggs to a fresh garden of berries, eggs benedict and the real Irish breakfast with sausages, rolls etc. I heard they were the best in town. Visit their website at www.butlers-hotel.com or send email info@butlers-hotel.com Address is: 44 Landsdown Road, Ballsbridge, Dublin 4. Tel: (353) 1-667 4022 Fax: (353) 1-667 3960.
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